On the other side of fear

April 13, 2012

Money, and the conversations about it, can generate a lot of fear.

Ganesh, remover of obstacles

Last week, I shared about my own family getting bare around my husband’s likely deployment to Afghanistan.  I have been reminded, again and again this week, that getting right with money and having bare conversations are practices that free up the kind of energy that can make a business thrive.

When we walk through the fear, miracles happen.

One participant of my last Get Right with Money program was SO committed to rewriting her money legacy. She was courageous in looking at her own story and actions.  Eventually, we got to Bare Accounting Conversations – about how to have sexy, full-disclosure conversations when you really want to run and hide.

She was sure that Bare Accounting Conversations were NOT for her. She had been tucking away some financial stuff from her husband and she wasn’t planning on having THAT conversation until she had taken care of it.

Uh, she was scared shitless.

Yep, wow, I’ve been there.  Quaking in my boots, not wanting to get bare about my mistakes. But truly, she was ready. Her money legacy was shifting and she was clear on her true desires and the actions that would get her there.

Getting bare with her husband was a HUGE piece of her healing.

She knew that the talk with her husband was critical to her healing from, and moving beyond, her old money legacy.

Not incidentally, she had been struggling to bring in new clients (in a niche where there is an abundance of clients) – which made the conversation that much tougher. (Because how was she going to fix her financial mess without clients??)

In her conversation, she wasn’t asking him to fix or mend it.

She was simply being bare with the man she loves. She chose to take a stand and claim her place as the master of her financial destiny. To affirm her clarity about who she is and who she is becoming in her business, with her money, with herself, and in relationship to her husband.

Her husband didn’t call for divorce or yell at her.  They talked – and yes, he was upset.  So was she. But afterward, she felt amazing – like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.  She could feel all sorts of blocked energy freed up.

Just like that.

Hiding takes a LOT of energy.

Fear and resistance are very real obstacles between you and your true desires.

Hiding from money and finances and doing anything less than being bare with your money and in conversations saps your energy – developing clarity and peace with our own money legacy and OWNING the power to create the financial future we desire allows energy and focus to flow where it’s needed most – like building your dream business and working with your clients – instead of performing duck and cover maneuvers to avoid the difficult conversations or even look at the money.

Stepping through the fear leads to freedom.

It is a hero’s journey to get right with money and have bare accounting conversations. This is ongoing work requires a willingness to take an undefended stance of truth and dignity, despite the resistance. Freedom lives on the other side of fear.

Since having the Bare Conversation with her husband four days ago, my gorgeous Get Right with Money yogini has found a well of free flowing energy that is fueling her business. Her creative juice is going.  Best of all, she has new clients knocking at her door like crazy, like never before.

Life-changing and business altering.

That is how important your relationship to your money, your work and your worth really is. That is how important having bare conversations really is.  Doing this work is about owning your power, and claiming freedom to create the financial future you truly desire.

Move through the fear and on the other side, you will find freedom.  Step forward and dive in – yogini.

I’ll be there, cheering you on.

Namasté, business yogini!

Share the Love...
    Michelle April 13, 2012 at 10:55 am

    Thank you Nona for sharing this inspiring story. I am touched by her courage and inspired by her results. I too have my share of money “stuff” that I am walking through and there is no better way than to get Bare and have the conversation. As you say, getting right with our money is a hero’s journey … and one well worth taking.

    nona April 13, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    I know, MIchelle ~ me too! Absolutely this is a hero’s journey that is SO worth taking! Thank you for commenting…xoxo

    Brandy April 18, 2012 at 11:39 am

    I’m working through something very similar right now. For us, it’s student loan debt. And it’s strangling us. And I too am working through the process of finding clients for Shalom Sessions. I love that she began to be flooded with clients shortly after her bare conversation with her husband. It gives me hope that the same thing could happen to me. Love!
    Brandy´s last blog post ..The Third Way

    nona April 18, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Brandy, yes – bare conversations clear our energy and allow for flow. May you find that your Shalom Sessions fill quickly and with ease… xoxo

    Mel April 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    I like the thing about the hiding aspect of it, because it’s so true about the energy thing. For me it’s not the money thing that I am hiding away from but something that happened a long time ago and I have built up a lot of stuff around it just to hide it from myself and others… maybe going bare is the issue.
    Mel´s last blog post ..On small adventures…

    nona April 18, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    Mel, I hope you find the compassionate place to share yourself fully. xoxo

    Marita Rahlenbeck April 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    Money, and the hiding of the truth, is one of the main reasons I left my marriage. I love how you champion the Money Legacy. And I love that term.
    Marita Rahlenbeck´s last blog post ..Then I Felt A Presence

    Bri Saussy April 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    “When we walk through fear Miracles can happen.” Hell yes Nona! Loved this-getting right with money and our fears about money is just essential to building up wealth and our deepest sense of security-so true-thanks for bringing this to my attention today!
    Bri Saussy´s last blog post ..Define your End Game

    Rachel Du Croz April 18, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    Ohhhhhh a challenge! I have to say when it comes to money I am a total ostrich which I know has to change, thank you for the encouragement because hiding is exhausting and causes all sorts of spiritual unbalance

    Katelyn April 18, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    We are programed to hide from money from a young age. My parents never talked about it in front of us. All I knew was “we didn’t have enough”. We didn’t learn about it in school, unless we enrolled in an accounting class, and how many of us did that? We are taught to fear money and the more we let go of fear our income goes up.

    I started a networking group for business women in the Twin Cities a few years ago. At one of the first meetings I stood up and said ” I want to be a millionaire and I am here to support you to reach the level of financial freedom you desire”. You would have thought I had just stood up with no clothes on and swore, by the painful hush that fell across the room. After a couple of minutes a couple of hands went up and they said “me too!” I found the response interesting. I still stand up and say ” I want to be a millionaire” because it is true and I want everyone in the room to get comfortable saying it for themselves so that they can open up to the financial freedom they deserve.

    Inga Deksne April 19, 2012 at 4:21 am

    Really happy for your client, Nona! You absolutely right that “when we walk through fear, miracles happen”. bare conversations are powerful. Can I have a bare conversation with myself? I’m single mum and my ex-husband financially doesn’t participate and I haven’t met my future husband-to-be yet. I might write a letter to myself from me in the future where I am a millionaire :)
    Inga Deksne´s last blog post ..What can “bad” people teach you?

    nona April 19, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Hi Inga, I find that bare conversations aren’t just for our spouses, but they are also for family, accountants, clients and other important people in our lives – but truly the first step is having a bare conversation with yourself – YES. xoxo

    Cynthia April 19, 2012 at 11:16 am

    My husband and I have both walked around in fear and omission about financial issues. After being married 25 years, we have finally come to a place of disclosure and for the first time, we are moving forward together. And strangely, since we both stopped our controlling thoughts and behaviors, we have more resources and opportunities!
    Cynthia´s last blog post ..In all I do

    nona April 19, 2012 at 11:19 am

    YES Cynthia – that is the magic of getting bare! All that energy freed up to create what we truly want! YAY!! xoxo

    Ashley April 19, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    Wow! I feel empowered and challenged just reading this. I am inspired by what a bare conversation did for your client and I have to admit I could use a few more of those bare conversations in my life – money related and otherwise. Also had to take note of “Hiding takes A LOT of energy” and will be reminding myself of that as I work on many things in my life. Thanks!

    Michelle Pippin April 20, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Nothing creates more obstacles than FEAR… thanks so much for sharing this!
    Michelle Pippin´s last blog post ..Respect for the OLD, and other Business Tips

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