A ritual.
When we are overwhelmed with the demands on our time. When the house is dirty, there are errands to run, deadlines loom, and the kids are clamoring for attention. When we feel our grip is slipping, we can take a moment to gently, little by little, shift our perspective on the imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete parts of our lives.
In Japanese tradition, wabi sabi is a concept typically applied to objects. Wabi sabi celebrates, paradoxically, the imperfection in objects, as being innately perfect and beautiful.
It’s about shifting our perspective. Appreciating the chaos and unpredictability in our busy lives, which opens us to the creative possibilities available in each moment. Even when the kids are sick, the laundry basket is overflowing, and the deadlines are pressing – wabi sabi is waiting to provide relief.
Each week, on Wednesday, we make a little bit of space to step back and look at some part of our beautiful, crazy life that is making us, well, crazy. We take a compassionate look at what is causing friction and how we might find the perfection and beauty in the middle of the mess.
This week’s mess
I seriously over-booked my time this week. Clara was sick last week, so I *think* I felt like I had to “catch up”. I have too many things going on this week – so many that even thinking about it leaves me frazzled, let alone doing it. My brow has been furrowed and my breathing has been tight for most of the week. On top of that, I’ve so overbooked myself, that I’ve missed one appointment and been late to another. Let’s not even get into how this impacts my longing to fit into my cute clothes. I have felt guilty going to bed the last few nights because that is time I could be getting things done. Really. It’s that bad.
I really needed wabi sabi this week.
Compassionate curiosity: Why do I do this?
Giving myself a moment to reflect on my schedule this week (that I created for myself), it brings an impish grin to my face. I have such amazing people and opportunities in my life right now. The desire to do everything and just bathe in the awesomeness of my life feels so good. I don’t want to miss a thing. On the other hand, I am painfully aware of how crappy it feels to constantly be trying to catch up with myself – to feel like I don’t have an extra moment.
Where’s the wabi sabi?
Yes, indeed, where is the wabi sabi??
To be quite honest, the simple act of writing this post has shifted my perspective. I am much calmer and feel better able to navigate the remainder of my week with some added grace. It’s obvious that I have been running on adrenaline this week and that I have not been at all mindful about my choices or my schedule.
I am sure there will be more weeks like this in my life – and it is good to remind myself every once in a while what the true capacity of my schedule is. And to remind myself that it was my choice – not in that “Now you have to lie in the bed you made for yourself” sort of way, but the spirit of, “Wow, that is really good to know.”
But even when my schedule does get away from me, I can stay relaxed and carve out a few minutes a day to be intentional about my attitude toward the busy-ness. I can relax into my schedule and take a hard look at what I’m doing. Do I need to cook dinner this week? No. Do I need to grocery shop this week. Again, no.
There is almost always an element of pressure that I add on top of the must-do’s, and if I’m caught up in the adrenaline and the rush, I can’t see it. By taking a look at my schedule calmly, from wabi sabi mind, I freed up at least 3 – 4 hours. Now, I can enjoy the rest of this crazy, busy week.
Is there a mess that could benefit from wabi sabi in your life this week? Feel free to share – I love company.
If you enjoy wabi sabi Wednesday and would like to explore how the practice of wabi sabi can improve your life, consider the upcoming Wabi Sabi Virtual Retreat beginning in March. I’m looking forward to it and would love to have you.
{ 4 comments }
Oh, do I need to keep a wabi sabi mindset this week! My husband made an appointment with our tax advisor for yesterday — and didn’t tell me until Saturday morning. I have lots of medical bills and I’ve just started (and neglected) an Etsy shop, so I had lots of paperwork to track down. The appointment went fine, but the accountant sent him home with a shopping list, “and if she can have it by Friday, she’ll work on it over the weekend.” We’re trying to get our return quickly — or at least see what our return will be — as we plan a vacation for the end of the month. So many papers! So many categories! Where to begin! So I made a list of all the things I needed and then all the steps — every little detailed step — to find each one. I was still feeling overwhelmed so I excused myself from clearing out that makeup drawer that’s driving me crazy, excused myself from going out to dinner this week because that always takes longer, excused myself from an after-work appointment one night this week. I don’t appreciate the pressure of getting this done by Friday, but I can at least refuse to put any more pressure on myself with other tasks — and I can set up a filing system and spreadsheet so there’s no more scrambling next year!
Happy WSWednesday!
Rebecca – I love the way you stepped your way through this, and took care of your needs by excusing yourself to get this done. Look at this! You will have a new filing system and a complete tax return in no time. xoxo
I’m ok with the being overwhelmed by busy-ness state. Actually the adenaline high is fun when you know that it won’t last forever and that you will have calm days again in your life. Why not enjoy the ride!
I am working on not stressing out on uncertainty. What I don’t know now, I will know eventurally — like if I will be traveling to Treviso on Monday for a two day training or not, and if then I will stop and see my son in Trento, or not, and if I can make plans for Sunday or will need the day to prepare materials, or not.
Stressing over all this really won’t help at all, so I am doing other things until all falls into place.
Holding a space for uncertainty to be.
Happy Friday — hope the rest of the week went better!
After writing this post, my week has been brilliant, Elizabeth! That, for me, is the magic of wabi sabi Wednesday! It helps me refocus and breathe…
Relaxing into uncertainty is soooo wabi sabi – by not focusing intently on what you don’t have planned, you can relax and get some other things done, and trust that the weekend is going to shape up perfectly, without you worrying it!!
I’m planning a blog post about you, Elizabeth. Be prepared. xoxo