Recently, I became part of a book club. I have yet to make it to a meeting and to be honest, My Life in France by Julia Child is the first book I’ve managed to finish. I’m so glad I did.
I wasn’t really expecting My Life in France to be such an inspiring illustration of a woman evolving: a woman who starts her life in one place, and, through dedication, thoughtful reflection, and practice, ends it perfectly – as who she is meant to be.
Quite a few people have recommended this book to me, likely due to (extremely) loose parallels between our lives: being a relatively naive west coast girl, marrying into a nomadic lifestyle of government service, and, amazingly, finding a life calling living overseas. As I read, I felt a real kinship with her as she grew into her role as a diplomatic spouse living overseas and pursuing her passion for cooking. On that level, I loved reading about her personal evolution. On a deeper level, it had a real feeling of wabi sabi to me: her wise, older self looking back and fully appreciating the perfection in the twists and turns of a life well-lived.
Though she relates most of the lessons of her life to cooking, her cooking lessons are lessons for living a good life. I just love when that turns out to be true!
A lesson on mistakes
“Of course, I made many boo-boos. At first this broke my heart, but then I came to understand that learning how to fix one’s mistakes, or to live with them, was an important part of becoming a cook.”
We are super mistake-averse in our culture, aren’t we? Perfection is the only accepted answer in too many cases. What makes me sad is that researchers are discovering that the only way to really learn and become an expert at something is to make mistakes, look at what happened objectively, and then try again.
If we make a mistake and freak out about how imperfect we are, we aren’t looking at what went wrong, what we could have done differently, and trying again. Nope, in that instance, we are just freaking out, usually worried about what others are thinking about us, or berating ourselves.
As an aside, because I’m all too familiar with this pattern, when my daughter makes (honest, not deliberate) mistakes, I ask her if she learned something. If she did? We throw a mini-celebration, right there, on the spot and then try again, with our new found insight. I’m getting better at offering myself this same kind of compassion with my own mistakes. Maybe in 4 or 5 lifetimes, I’ll get it.
A lesson on understanding yourself (in order to be better)
“Upon reflection, I decided I had three main weaknesses: I was confused; I had a lack of confidence, which caused me to back down from forcefully stated positions; and I was overly emotional at the expense of careful, “scientific” thought. I was thirty-seven years old and still discovering who I was.”
There are a number of elements of this statement that really struck me as excellent life lessons. There is absolutely no judgement in her assessment: just honest appraisal. Now who knows if this is how it was in the moment it happened, but that kind of honest appraisal, without judgement, is the basis of deep, authentic change.
The other thing I love about this is that she recognized that at 37 she was still discovering who she was!! Even more amazing to me was the sense that she never stopped learning or trying to make herself better. This is a true lesson for life: change is always available to us and makes life a lot richer if we stay engaged fully.
A lesson on becoming an expert
“Nothing is too much trouble if it turns out the way it should. Good results require that one take time and care. If one doesn’t use the freshest ingredients or read the whole recipe before starting, and if one rushes through the cooking, the results will be an inferior taste and texture – a gummy beef Wellington, say. But a careful approach will result in a magnificent burst of flavor, a thoroughly satisfying meal, perhaps even a life-changing experience.”
Julia Child spent countless hours (10 years, to be exact) writing her first cookbook – not to mention the subsequent ones! Now, I don’t know about you, but I like to think if I put my mind to something, I should be an expert (or see results) immediately. I do think some of that is cultural – we do live in the land of instant results – but some of it is nature.
This quote is a gorgeous reminder that staying mindful, taking our time, and giving our best to whatever we’re pursuing are master keys to magnificent lives that are totally satisfying with good results. I mean, who wants a life that ends up like a gummy beef-Wellington?
If you haven’t read My Life in France, I recommend it. And yes, the movie is on it’s way as I write!
What unexpected books have inspired you with their life lessons? I would love to hear about them in the comments.
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