Maybe I’m too old to use the word “grok”. I’m happy to say that I’m 39 (for the first time and only time) as of today.
The really good news that I’ve been thinking about is that we live in a time when we know that you CAN teach a dog new tricks, old or young (it’s a different matter entirely if the dog doesn’t want to learn, of course.). Thanks to crazy imaging technology, scientists can look at how our brains really work and respond to different types of stimulus and situations. Like change.
This is on my mind because I’m getting ready to talk at the U.S. Embassy on this exact topic. I’ve been ruminating a lot on how giddy it makes me that we aren’t hardwired by our past experiences and fated to be a certain way for the rest of our days.
Back when I became interested in living a different kind of life, oh, 14 years ago, there was no scientific support for our ability to transform. You just were who you were and that was that. If you tried to change via some woo-woo path, well, eyebrows were raised.
Through the grace of a stubborn streak, I guess, I simply couldn’t accept that. I didn’t believe that I had to be the person I was: overwhelmed, anxious, miserable… Simply put, I did not believe my fate was to live a life of being uncomfortable in my own skin, feeling largely like a failure despite outward success as a corporate accountant.
I find it incredibly exhilarating that none of us are sentenced to being the asshat we were when we were 17, or 25, even (speaking entirely for myself there.) Until the day we die, we can learn, adapt, and become better leaders, spouses, parents, friends, and global citizens!
So here is the blog-cliff notes version of what I’m going to talk about on Wednesday, if you can’t make it.
- In order to move through all kinds of change successfully we have to keep our limbic system (think fight or flight) calm. We need to have strategies that keep the “executive” part of our brain (aka: the prefrontal cortex) that makes decisions, analyzes options, and processes new information functioning really well. And, unfortunately, this executive part of the brain is impaired when our limbic system perceives any sort of threat.
- There are three strategies that help us train our brain in this way. Even better, when you use these strategies, they improve absolutely every part of your life (read: elegant, simple solutions). Not just work – everything. The three strategies are:
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- Voluntary exercise: Our brains are better at hard-wiring new skills and information if we exercise. But not if we’re being chased by tigers all day, so we have to want to do it.
- Meditation: Even a few minutes a day of being completely present changes the brain in really cool ways.
- Cognitive Change: How we tell the story of our life, from moment to moment, is critical to staying calm and working with the energy of change instead of against it (wabi sabi plays a huge part in this…)
Cognitive change is much easier to learn and adopt with support (from someone like me) and meditation can also be easier if you are working with a coach or if you join a group. Meditation and cognitive change are the very foundation of groking change and transforming yourself, your work, and your life. And I just think that is some of the best news EVER.
If you are in Rome, and you are a member of the embassy community, I would love to see you Wednesday at 12:00 for the talk. If you are not in Rome, I welcome questions and comments here with great enthusiasm!
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